Big Bird Saves Kristin

Sometimes your friends and allies surprise you in the most extraordinary of ways—not because you would expect less from them—but because their selflessness is so great and the love that you feel so strong, that it just overwhelms you. 

When our friend Pete Krebs developed cancer, a sea of friends stepped in to help his family.  As a self-made man and working musician who has scrapped together a living with concerts, shows, lessons and session work—and managed to successfully maintain his family that way—receiving help and feeling so helpless and dependent on others was not easy for him.

I remember visiting him shortly after the surgery to remove the cancer. He was still quite weak and unsure of his outcome. But what he focused on wasn't his illness or its adverse possibilities. What Pete focused on was feeling overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity everyone had shown him and his family. It was not his fear of death or the cancer prognosis, that got him, it was the kindness.

And that is how we felt when our week turned into a nightmare, when Big Bird saved Kristin, and the Night Watchmen stepped in to help us care for Annika and Luka. 

It all started at our next lactation appointment with Kristin's terrestrial  guardian angel and medical advocate:

Why Big Bird? Because Big Bird is a lumbering tower of kindness — Big and safe and gentle and kind with only goodness in its big heart. Big Bird has only the best intentions and feelings for you. 

Kristin had already been symptomatic with her infection for several days, although we had not realized it. But it  was Doris who figured it out, and Doris who made every effort to advocate for us and make sure that we were attended to with the immediate attention Kristin needed. And she did so with complete kindness. 

Doris listened to us and acknowledged our concerns; called the perinatologists to explain the urgency of the situation and advocate for us; lined up transportation to get Kristin to the ER; helped me plan the logistical steps to get the kids home (ERs full of sick people are no place for newborns, and even less so with the need to focus on ensuring Kristin was adequately cared for); and even carried Annika and Luka from her 7th floor office to the main entrance of the building—in their car seats mind you—so that I could run ahead and bring the car around. Big, towering, gentle kindness, that's what I'm talking about.

Here is Doris in the perinatal post partum care ward with Annika and Luka. She came to visit several times when Kristin was still fighting the infection to check on her. Here she is with us with Kristin now recovering in the hospital:

Thank you, Big Bird! The kindness in your heart, and the care you showed the love of my life, dear Doris, has won me over. We are so grateful to you!

The Dairy Farm

A quick progress report: so far Kristin has faired well today and we were able to get some extra rest last night and learn some new skills with the help of our amazing Doula, Kimberly. And now back to the story...

Last week, before Kristin got sick and just a few days after being discharged from the hospital, Kristin and I went for our first follow-up appointment with the post partum care / lactation and breast feeding clinic. 

Kristin and I had been working on getting the twins to double latch and breast feed, while also working on keeping their weight up with formula, and learning to feed them. A three-pronged challenge with four players and none of the advantages of an udder.

As such, we also had to learn how to use the breast pump to supplement the feedings.

While we were waiting for the lactation consultant, we began to inspect the breast pump tools and their potential uses:

Listening for the sound of the ocean

Making an important phone call on an old telephone

Listening to pings while scanning the sonar for enemy submarines 

Setting weapons to stun in a B grade sci fi flick with low production value

The Notorious Pumpin' B's latest album cover

Drying your hair

And crooning 'Love Me Tender' to the fans

But ultimately, this is what we were preparing for:

Our lactation consultant really helped set us on the right path to competent twins feeding with her soft teaching skills, a gentle touch, incredible empathy, a wide knowledge base and a huge heart.  

The goal is to avoid having Kristin looking and feeling like this:

And here are some of the other tools and materials that are part of our new arsenal to avoid engorgement:

The comfort goods

The pump and bottle kit prior to assembly

Sterilized goods 

And if you like those pictures we've posted of the kids in the drawers, you can also thank Doris for getting us back on the path to co-sleeping Annika and Luka, which we started doing again at this appointment:

In the nursing bassinet 

As we headed home, we realized that it was time to set up the twin stroller for greater mobility:

This is a bit of a haul, even with newborns. 

 Later, that same stellar lactation consultant and nurse would save Kristin's life. Thank you and God bless you, Doris, where would we be without you?

Persephone Rises

Kristin is feeling better and is headed home today! 

These two pictures with Annika and Luka were taken yesterday afternoon:

Her bright eyes and smile are finally back.

Today, she went on her first outing too. We went to the little outdoor patio in the perinatal ICU ward where she has been staying, where we took this picture of her in the sunshine:

Thank you, everyone, who helped us through this very difficult and trying time! 

A special thanks to Wayne and Diane for daywatch and all logistical and emotional support, and to our watchmen and logistics heroes Helene, Doug, Shelagh, Judith, Ben, Michael, Margaret, as well as our tactical runners Jess and Gilberto. You are amazing and we are so grateful.

More to follow...

Drawer Babies

It's just about time to stop using the drawers for sleeping.

Although we now have a crib, the drawers are so practical, and Annika and Luka look so adorable co-sleeping in them, that André hasn't had much will to put the crib together. Then again, it sure would be nice to have a sock drawer again!  But the drawers are such a practical solution. 

You can put them in the sunshine by the porch:

:

Or you can put them on the dining room table while you work in the kitchen:

And, you can watch them sleep right from your bed:

Also, in the drawer by your bedside, you can pull the drawer over closer to the bed if need be to comfort them if they stir. 

The she wolf likes it too. Penélope can check on them without fretting because she can see them, at her level, which comforts her and continues to help normalize their presence in our home for her.

Here are some pics that Grandma Diane took this afternoon:

And really, what's not to love about this sibling moment:

Or this one:

Synchronized sleeping!

We took these last pictures just last night, a few minutes after the 2 AM feeding. Adorable! Who cares if it's 2 AM? We never would have seen this moment otherwise. 

Little drawer sleepers, sleep gently, and may nobody confuse you for a sock in the middle of the night when Kristin's toes get cold!

Hands

While Luka was zonked out in a milk coma, we spent a little time studying his hands.

By now, we've moved beyond faces, lips and noses and started spending a little more time studying other features, trying to figure out which parts remind us of different people in our family or of different physical, family traits. Are those Uncle Wayne's toes? Are those Garver ears? We think they look more like Knaebels- Luka's earlobes are a lot like Abuelo Steve's. And doesn't Luka's nose look like Tío Yeyo's? Annika's is just like André's as a child.

Regarding Luka's hands, his cuticles are shaped more like Kristin's, but his index finger and thumb are definitely André's.

It's funny, when we were told we couldn't have kids, one of the things we mourned was the thought of not being able to see what a blend of the two of us would be like. And now they are here for us to study.

And, it's just a little weird just how much Luka reminds us of Wayne, Kristin's father. That, and snapping turtles, of course. Not to say that Wayne looks like a snapping turtle... Not at all! If anything, André gets pretty snappy when he's hungry too.

And according to Diane, Annika is very much like Kristin as a baby. Of course, she has André's family's more bronzed skin, more like when Kristin has just returned from one of her travel adventures to Costa Rica or to a sunny spot in Thailand. Well, maybe that's just jaundice we're seeing. We're working on that!

But whether it's a snapping turtle, a grandfather, or Kristin on a sunny adventure, we  no longer have to wonder what they will look like anymore.

Except, that is, for the fact that they look different each day, and we  really have no idea what they will look like!

Aunt V Comes to Visit

Aunt V came from New York to Portland for the weekend, and got to spend  a little time catching up with us and meeting Luka and Annika. So nice to see you, V!

We hope Tío Jaime can make it soon too. James and Veronica just recently adopted their second child, a beautiful little baby boy, Blaise. As such, James stayed in NY to man the fort with the kids so that Veronica could come to Pdx for a class reunion. Now that's teamwork!

We can only imagine how this weekend is going for James, if it's anything like the tale V told us of traveling to La Paz, Mexico alone with Cormac, their toddler escape artist and perhaps the most independent little man we know. 

Thanks for visiting, V! It meant so much to all of us!

With Luka

Hanging in the nursery with the she wolf and Annika

Sunshine with Grandma, Snapping Turtles and It's the End of the World As We Know It.

What a beautiful sight to wake up to yesterday morning! 

Annika 

And Luka.

They really look more alike in these pictures. It makes me think of something Grandpa Wayne shared with me this morning:

Just like this, isn't it?

I can't help but think of the twins and the distinct difference in their color and temperament.

When watching Annika look at the world in her waking state, or with her eyes in a half open and content milk induced coma, Annika has the exact same look as that little girl in the boat. 

And you'd never guess seeing Luka in these pictures that Luka looks like the snapping turtle he behaves like when it's time to latch for feeding time at the dairy farm:

Here's a little tidbit from the Wikipedia entry for snapping turtles, to give you a sense of what it's like to feed Luka:

Contrary to claims that alligator snapping turtles possess one of the strongest bite force of any animal, it has been recorded at 158 ± 18 kgf (1,550 ± 180 N; 348 ± 40 lbf), which is lower than several other species of turtles and at about the same level as humans, relative to the turtle's body size.^[12][13] Still, these turtles must be handled with extreme care and considered potentially dangerous.^[11] This species can bite through the handle of a broom and rare cases have been reported where human fingers have been cleanly bitten off by the species.^[14] No human deaths have been reported to have been caused by alligator snapping turtles.^[14]

Wow! Now that's some snapping power. Be careful, Luka! Play nice.

So much for the tranquil image of wise, old, kelp eating, Kauaian turtles:

No, sir, it's the hard shelled, wide mouthed, spiked,  leathery beast who comes to feed!

And you'd also never guess looking at these two cuties in the pics above  that they were inconsolable night terrors just a few hours before these pictures were taken.

I'm not really sure who this guy is, and I'm not sure if he represents our terror last night, or how the kids felt, but it pretty much sums it up for a guy I found  on the internets. (Who says internets, anyways? It's interwebs!)

But I do wonder how it feels to be the guy that pops up when you do a Google image search for night terror. Hmmm... I must consult the oracle and ask it.

But back to the morning. The morning was another story, no night terrors, just these beautiful images of playfulness and serenity:

Notice they are still drawer babies. The drawers have been working well so far, so there has been less urgency about building the crib, especially since yesterday was such a busy day.

First, we  had  a visit to the lactation consultant, who was awesome and super helpful (more on that later) and also  with our new family practitioner:

Yup. R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe

Annika and Luka's first wellnes check went well. And to Grandma Diane's utter joy, he confirmed that we cannot spoil the kids by holding them too long. Grandma was soooo happy to hear that news!

His medical practice and life philosophy really matches ours, and it was very reassuring to have him give us the thumbs up on the kids progress.

He has this cool way of looking at parenting from a geopolitical, social historical perspective, a sort of parenting and life through the ages kind of thing, combined with science, reason, a little Zen, compassion, and a laid back, "chill while you wait for the world to continue to evolve as seen through History and Philosophy" kind of approach to life and parenting.

Plus, he looks like R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe, which kind of adds to the Philosophical abstract mystique of a wellness check with him. 

Thank you, Michael, for squeezing us in at the end if the day, for your kindness and empathy, for your knowledge, philosophy, and your encouragement of our parenting, and  for "Green." I just love that album! Man, what a seminal piece of music!

And, to close, the end of the world as we knew it with an image of sibling serenity:

Sweet dreams, little ones. May you never get your fingers caught in these drawers that held you so sweetly!